Chakralicious! Heart, Rising from the Ashes

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Heart Guardian Journey

This journey was the hardest for me to do. I went in and I was a top of a plateau. It was a beautiful scene, it was serene. I felt like I was very high and I can see the bottom below however I was still touching the land not floating. Then I heard a cry and when I look up I see this beautiful phoenix flying above and he swoops down by me. As I was mesmerized by it, I all of sudden find myself having monkey brain. I saw flashes of different images, which I have no recollection of them at all. Then there was nothingness… I was gone, not sure for how long but I was gone. I was woken up by my spiritual teacher, he said “come on there is work to be done”. As he said this, the bird majestically approached me and I can truly get a sense of how huge his wing span was. He was flapping his wings in front of me. I felt the breeze and the moving of my hair and I see he has an egg in his talons. I extended my arms out and he places it in my hands with great care. I started to hear in the background the guided meditation asking me to come back and so I did.

 

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Basic Information and Insights

The Heart Chakra is ruled by the element of Air. It’s affirmation is “I am filled with unconditional love” and it’s mantra is OM SHUKRAYA NAMAHA. The Heart Chakra deals with balance, love and self-acceptance. For me the sumerian deities associated with this Chakra are Inanna the goddess of love and war and Ninlil the Lady of the Air, consort to the great God of Air Enlil.

Once back, I started to think about what the egg symbolizes to me and what it symbolizes is a new beginning. Like the phoenix that rises from its ashes and rises yet again as a new creature unlike the first one, it is just showing me the cycle of life, death and rebirth, which in simple terms, it is the cycle of beginnings and endings. And this thought led me to think of my darling Goddess Inanna which embodies herself, with her Decent into the Underworld, this very cycle. As I am writing this, the song from Lisa Thiel’s Song to Inanna is playing in my head. Now as I apply this to the matters of my heart, I understand that for every love lost and new one comes and sometimes we must not just work to be better people but we need to completely start anew. There are  times in our lives that we love ourselves unconditionally, and some others in which we loath who we are. At times we starve our own selves from love and we seek for it in the wrong places instead of within ourselves. I am very guilty of such of act against myself. I am my harshest critic. I am so unforgiving and unwilling to move on from the mistakes that I have made. I think the phoenix is here to remind me that I can put an end to my own suffering and start anew.  A brand new creature unlike the previous one with the whole world before her and infinite possibilities. It also brings forth the realization that I do have to love myself unconditionally Always not sometimes. That I have to truly accept myself for who I am, not for who I wish I could be. That I need to forgive myself for giving others the power to destroy my self-love, my self-worth and reclaim it as my own. I alone must be the judge, always remembering to come from a place of love, and no just any love but unconditional love.

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I struggled a lot to write this particular blog. I kept wondering why am I so afraid to just open myself and have the experience. The reason why is because there is a lot of hurt. Hurt from things of the past, hurt from previous life times in which I struggled with self-acceptance and suffered for being who I was. I know that still, this very day, I still struggle with the fact that my father felt that I was unworthy of his love. I struggle with the fact of how I have disappointed my mother in so many ways by not having the same values or beliefs as she does, or by not living my life the way she wanted me to or how she wanted me to. By not achieving some important goals in my life due to my own mistakes. I don’t like hurt and exploring and diving into this Chakra did just that. It showed me my scars and in a way, it poked them and forced me to reevaluate certain beliefs and emotions. After all this time, after all the work I have done, it still hurts and I guess it will always hurt to a certain extent. Just like when I think of good things, it warms my heart and brings a smile to my face. It is part of life and this existence. It is part of how we learn about this reality and about ourselves. I just have to accept it, forgive myself and move on. I have to embrace all of me! I need to keep healing, keep loving and keep feeling. I need to be like a phoenix, I need to arise from my own ashes.

 

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Chakralicious! Naval Warrior

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Naval Guardian Journey

As I drifted back in to the journey to find my Solar Plexus Chakra Guardian. I started to see lots of green swirls of color. I immediately recognize who the spirit was, she was Cheetah. As the realization washed over me, all of a sudden found myself standing in an African  savannah and she was standing to my right however she was about 10 feet ahead of me and her back was towards me. As I approach she turned her head to acknowledge my presence she then beckoned me to come closer telepathically. Which I did, as soon as I was at her side we both just stared out in to the savannah and took in the beautiful setting. The Sun was hanging low on the horizon washing the savannah in its beautiful golden glow. We saw a sea of yellowish tall grass that was being caressed by a gentle breeze and in the distance we saw some green and mountains. I started to walk and so did she. This spirit I know, I have worked with her before and with her showing up as my guardian of this Chakra, it even makes more sense why she has become an integral part of my life.

She then began telling me that she was here to help me come in to my own power, she says I have come a long way but there is still much to be done. She said that she is here to help me understand and accept my own power. She said that I have to completely accept this fact, which she was quick to point out NOT to understand it, but to ACT and FEEL accordingly to the fact that I am a co-creator of this reality (and as she said this the scenery changed from the African savannah to the dewy emerald forest setting that I always find solace and that I prefer). As it was time for me to return she gave me this beautiful necklace with a glowing green gem like the one she wears on her head. I was happy, thankful and excited to see and share with her yet again. I am so happy that she has taken an interest in helping me be everything that I can be.

One interesting tidbit is that she had always worn a green gem on her forehead and I never thought twice about it. Which I find now interesting since Manipura means Lustrous Gem. I also found interesting that as I was writing this blog she was guiding me to find images to use for it. As I was looking for images I found this picture that an artist named Iza Pug drew which made me feel as if she had posed for this and that it was her portrait!

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The other picture that she liked was this one. She says granted that is not a cheetah but to me it does embody our relationship. When I see her, I see you! Now you can see yourself through my eyes. A warrior woman who is assertive and full of power. She knows what she wants and she makes it happen. She then says very sweetly, I am always by your side. The feeling of love and acceptance that I felt from her were quite overwhelming.

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Basic Information and Insights

The Naval Chakra also known as the Solar Plexus Chakra is ruled by the element of Fire. Its affirmation is “I use my warrior energy to help myself and others in a just manner” and its mantra is OM MANGALAYA NAMAHA. The naval Chakra deals with will, power and assertiveness. For me the Sumerian deities that are connected to this Chakra is Utu, the God of Sun and Justice and Gibil the God of Fire.

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This was an amazing Chakra to delve in. For starters, we do our journeys before any actual Chakra information is studied or discussed in class. I found absolutely fascinating, that she used words that define this Chakra. I am not going to pretend that I had no knowledge of the Chakras prior to this workshop. I did, but I always associated this Chakra with the word confidence and not power (which I found out thanks to this workshop that confidence is more tied to the Sacral Chakra). This was a new perspective that she brought up to me. She made me shift from the word confidence to personal power and assertiveness. As a shaman this is a concept that we work a lot with and I still find myself working hard at it. When doing spiritual work at times, I wonder am I really fulfilling my role as a healer and at times, this self-doubt comes over my mind and brings with it the clouds. I am happy I have Cheetah to help me chase them away!

When I think about it, I still have certain fears that I am still working through. I am just happy that I have such an ally by my side. With us just having that simple conversation about the picture that she liked and why she liked it. It has helped me to shift my mindset when tackling certain situations and thought patterns. It also showed me how much further I must go and the importance of having a Can Do Attitude! She believes in me and therefore I believe in myself that much more. I truly want to be that woman in that picture!

Another thing that I find interesting is the presence of the green color which brings to my attention the aspects ruled by Heart Chakra. In all of my dealings with her I have felt loved and warmth and she has always worn a green gem on her forehead. Her gem, serves me as a reminder that though we become powerful in our own nature, and when we are faced with those times that we must exert that power, we have to do so from a place of love. The love regulates our will and power, it is a great way to keep checks and balances. The fact that it is on her forehead it is difficult to miss that reminder, that above all we need to come from a place of love!

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Chakralicious! Sacral Delight

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Sacral Guardian Journey

This journey was very scattered.  There was a lot of just images popping in and out. It was not like my normal journeys. I think I was a bit tired when I was working on it. As I entered non-ordinary reality the first thing I see if the face of a bull and then it disappears and I notice that I am walking towards a river which is meeting the sea. The sun was shinning however it was not high in the sky. Again an image of tuna just pops in and fades out again. Then as I draw near the beach I see a manatee in the water waiting to greet me. Once I get to the edge of the water my teacher appears next to me and holds me by the hand and we start to walk into the water together. My teacher is Enki, and for those who are not familiar with him he is the God of water along many other things in the Sumerian pantheon. So it was really not surprising at all that he showed up while exploring this Chakra. We all swam together enjoying the freedom and happiness that swimming in the water gives. As you may know if you read my About Me page I grew up in the island of Puerto Rico and I spent much of my life frolicking in the warm Caribbean ocean. So being in the water is like coming home to me. It feels so good to feel the warm water around my body. It makes me feel safe, refreshed and loved.  My connection to nature as well as the element becomes really strong when I am able to be enveloped by it.  As we swam next to each other manatee didn’t miss a beat. He was right there ever-present. I floated on my back and then Manatee just floated right below me making me more buoyant and I came to rest and relax on him. This guardian did not speak to me at all but he was very involved. He made me feel relax and made me know that I can take the time to enjoy life a little and that he would be there to give me support when needed. My call back was heard and before I left he gave me a conch shell that I could use to call on him whenever I needed him.

Sacral Chakra

Basic Information and Insights

The Sacral Chakra, Svadhisthana is ruled by the element of water and represented by the color orange. Its affirmation is “I am open to creativity” and its mantra is OM GURAVE NAMAHA. The Scaral Chakra deals with pleasure, feelings, emotions, intimacy, procreation, polarity, sensuality, sexuality, confidence, sociability, freedom and movement. For me the Sumerian deities connected to this Chakra are Nammu the Ancient Primeval Sea Goddess (other Mesopotamian civilizations may know her as Tiamat) and Enki the God of Wisdom. Other lesser gods of the Sumerian pantheon that we could connect with might be Enbilulu, the God of Rivers or Ninki the Goddess of Fresh Water.

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This was a very interesting Chakra for me to work with because before this workshop, this Chakra was always associated with sexuality for me personally. I do consider myself having a pretty well-balanced Chakra so for me it was about exploring, expanding my knowledge and understanding better what the Sacral Chakra was all about. So what I decided to do was choose several of the aspects that are ruled by the Sacral Chakra, center myself, connect to its energy and stay in that place… letting my body and mind be flooded with what it feels and the memories or thoughts it evoked within me and that is what I decided to share with you.

I decided to start with the word Pleasure which evokes in me a wonderful and enjoyable physical reaction. Just closing my eyes and saying the word pleasure, it pleases me. It makes my heart beat a little faster, it makes me feel a little warmer and it makes me feel very sexy and desirable. Now what does my brain think of when I say the word Pleasure… I think of the greatest physical gift you can have, the orgasm. I think of my husband’s body, his eyes and his touch. I think of wonderful and beautiful places in nature that I have visited in the past (which coincidentally all contain in one form or another a body of water). I can taste the sweet delights of wonderful desserts that I have had the pleasure of eating. All these wonderful thoughts, feelings and memories have a backdrop of wonderful music that just make my body vibrate.  Just thinking and remembering it brings me complete pleasure. A pleasure that is my own, one that I do not have to share and that I can totally find total satisfaction in. I am so happy that I am able to experience pleasure in so many different ways and all of them satisfying within me all sorts of unique desires.

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The second word I chose was Intimacy. What was intimacy for me? I must have revised my definition quite a bit but this is what ended up resonating true to me. Intimacy is when I share a deep, private part of myself with another being whether they are family, friend, animal or energetic being. It extends to the sharing of my body, the sharing of personal and deep thoughts and the sharing of inner feelings which I keep close to my heart. In many ways intimacy really does define my relationships with others. There are certain people who I have never met physically but I have shared with them intimate moments and for that they will always be close to my heart. Then there are those people with whom I have regular contact with however I have never been or had intimate moments with, which then it becomes a realization to me, that at the end of the day we are not close at all. So intimacy becomes really a great way for me to measure and evaluate my inter personal relationships. While doing all this soul-searching I saw how my body would react to certain thoughts. At times I felt exhilarated, my heart skipped a beat or two when I thought about when I had been physically intimate with others. When I thought about some of my friends and family members I felt a warmth that was related to the feeling of safety, security and the feel of being loved and understood. When I thought of some other people I felt my stomach churn at the thought of them betraying my trust. This word or concept really evoked in me many thoughts and feelings.

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The last word I chose was Confidence. My body quickly adjusted itself its posture. I noticed the I held my chin just a bit higher. Just saying the word to myself, Confidence, brought me confidence. It made me acknowledge myself that I was an intelligent, wise, beautiful, sexy woman… and then I felt bad because I didn’t want to be judged. That feeling got me thinking… at times when we do have a healthy confidence, others might feel that you are unattainable, self-centered and a know-it-all. As positive as it is to have confidence, it is a slippery slope. If you have it and you assert it, others might feel envious or jealous. To be honest in my experience most people don’t really want you to feel confident because if you do then they have no control over you. Some see it or they take it as a call to competition and to some even war! 🙂 Don’t get me wrong I am a bit competitive myself but there is a healthy line that should not be crossed. Most men when presented with a confident woman they will be likely to remove you from their radar and you are cataloged as unattainable and not worth the effort. Thinking and looking back at it for me having or displaying confidence has brought negative judgements from some of my peers. I do have to say that the confident people who I know don’t have these kind of reactions but I am sad to say that the majority of people don’t fall on that category. If we really want to empower people and we really want them to feel confident we need to start learning to react positively when confronted by it, because unfortunately not many people are ready to encounter such a beautiful and yet so misunderstood trait.

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Chakralicious! Root Chakra

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Root Chakra Guardian Journey

As I enter non-ordinary reality the first thing I see in the distance was the Acropolis. I started walking toward it and I see myself sitting at it steps and she motions for me to come closer. I am wearing a white tunic dress with my hair just as long and bare footed. As I get close to her she embraces me and says “Welcome to your Inner Temple”. We sit on the step and now we are looking out in the distance. The warm breeze caressing our bodies and the sun was shinning brilliantly. As I look back at the distance I see this beautiful forest before me. I start walking towards it and right by the path is my guardian, His name is Enrod and he is a satyr. He takes me by the hand and leads me in deeper into the forest. As we walk, he points to the left side to which I look over and see a dryad which when she notices that I have seen her she quickly turns into the tree hiding once again. We continue to walk and we come to a pond. We sit and enjoy some of the refreshing water and he starts playing the flute. As he does so I lay against a tree and see him prancing around playing this joyful song. He comes and grabs me and we start dancing. Then he gives me the flute and said “If you ever shall need me just play it and I will be there.” He takes the flute and hangs it around my neck. He gives me the biggest grin and says it is time for us to go back. I thank him for his gift and gave him a big hug. Feeling his fur against my skin and smelling his musky smell earthy but very enticing. Enrod just smelled wonderfully. He walks back with me to the Acropolis and there he returns to the forest. Before he disappeared in to the brush he waves good-bye and I let him know that I will come back and visit him soon.

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Basic Information and Insights

The root Chakra, Muladhara is ruled by the element of earth and represented as the color red. Its affirmation is “I am connected to the earth” and its mantra is OM SHANECHRAYA NAMAHA, which you have to say 108 times (I know! I got tired too!) The root Chakra deals with survival, vitality, security, stability, sexuality and grounding. For me the Sumerian deities connected to this Chakra is Ki, the Mother Earth who is also known by 2 others names: Ninhursag and Ninmah The Great Mother Goddess.  Other lesser Sumerian deities that are connected to the earth are:

  • Enkimdu – Farmer God
  • Ashnan – Grain Goddess
  • Lahar – God of Cattle
  • Uttu – Goddess of Vegetation
  • Enten – Shepherd God
  • Emesh – Framer God

But the workshop had given us the deities Ereshkigal and Dumuzi which I find interesting because they both reside in the Underworld, ok Dumuzi only lives there 1/2 the time.

At the beginning of my spiritual journey I had trouble connecting to this Chakra. I found it hard to feel grounded and be grounded. I have a passion for dance and sex which are related to this Chakra. In retrospect I thin k that was my natural way of connecting and grounding. Since the age 14 I worked to supply my needs and wants since I came from a household in which my mother made $7000 a year and she had to maintain 3 children by herself. She worked as a laborer in a manufacturing company of clothing and when their contracts would be fulfilled their employees were laid-off until further notice. My poor mother had to deal with this uncertainty everyday of her adult life, I can only imagine the stress that she must have lived with while we were growing up. Knowing that she had work today but not sure if next month she would. So at a young age I learned to rely on myself.

As expected growing up in that kind of environment was very hard, for we didn’t know if we would have our physical needs met, there was much financial instability. I am just thankful and grateful, that she loved us as much as she did and that she was a very good steward so she was able to buy a home in which we all grew up in and my mother still lives in today. As a young adult I worked very hard and provided myself with everything I needed or wanted. Now I am a mother of 4 children and I struggle with the fear that now my husband is the sole provider for the family and knowing that I am, once again relying on someone else to provide that stability. As I mentioned before I grew up in the same house and that kind of stability caused me to feel “stuck” in one place. Thinking back the one thing that I found solace in, the one thing that would make everything good was to dance. I grew up dancing every week of my life. It was needed and now I know why. That was the way that I helped myself open the root Chakra and the way my soul instinctively knew what to do to compensate. As soon as I could I spread my wings and flew away from my childhood home in the island of Puerto Rico and since then I like to move from place to place with regularity. I really dislike being in one place longer than 4 years, or I start feeling “stuck”. Once that occurs I get the urge to “unstuck myself” and move on to a new environment.

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Now that I have been working a few years with grounding myself and getting this Chakra open and balanced, I can see changes within me on how I approach and feel about survival and stability. I don’t get that gut wrenching feel at the mere thought of my husband having to find new employment. I somehow know that things will be ok. I am a very passionate woman and I have great vitality so those aspects of my root Chakra I didn’t find myself struggling with. Thanks to working with the root Chakra, it forced me take time to really think about my position, emotions and problems that are related to it.

We had a few assignments this week one was too color our own Chakra mandala and to go on a journey to meet your Root Chakra Guardian. Here is the mandala I colored. It has greens in it because when I went on my journey there was a lot of green. Actually I didn’t see anything that was colored red at all!

My Root Chakra

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